Roman 1:19, Matthew 18:21-35

Well finally finding time to breathe. I have so much going on as always, thank goodness. I have a heavy heart right now. I have everything I could every want. A wonderful family, great friends, school is going well, work is busy, but I don't know where I want my path called life to go. I am trying to be extra prayerful about it. My friend I mentioned early, that was now proclaimed agnostic has now gone back to atheist. They had several rough encounters with some "Crazy Christians" This is what I call those crazy people out there passing out bibles, shoving religion down your throat and discussing fire and brimstone. I would like to state for the record I am in no way associated with these basket cases and I think the way they approach evangelism is the top reasons of atheism and hate of Christians. I mean the majority of these people don't know enough about God to be asking (or scaring) others to believe in him as well because if they did they would realize what a passive and loving God he is. He doesn't want anyone to burn but he also doesn't want anyone to scare you into believing in him. I also have been in the scenario with these "people" when I was like four years old I was scared into getting dunked under water because "I didn't want to live in fire" My poor mother was called and notified that I had "gotten saved" at my friend Grace's bible school. We later had a discussion and she explained how it worked and what they meant because I had no idea.

Can a christian love an atheist?

How does this relationship work? How can I be with someone who doesn't acknowledge the God that created me and I love to worship and learn about him. Is this just a phase in their life? Should I respect and move on with my feelings for them? I don't know what to do and I feel like its a big decision in my life and no matter what my decision is its going to be a large factor in my life at this point. I just wish this person could see how badly it hurts my heart to not be able to share my relationship with God with them. Before I felt as though I could love them enough and eventually they would hopefully see God's glory shine through. But I am discouraged and hurt and all I can do is cling to God and pray. I worry, what if something happened to this person that I love so much? I feel like this is my fault. I mean I should respect their views and let them be but I just feel like I am hiding something by doing this, like putting up a wall between us and a relationship can only go so far. For some reason another Bethany Dillon song keeps popping up one line in her song says "I'm so close to being far away from you". I don't feel like this relationship is pulling me away from God but I feel as though I am not getting closer to this friend."since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. "

I don't understand how people don't believe in God. Without him I have no doubt in my mind I would be cracked out on drugs somewhere because I was lonely and hurt from everything in my life.
I feel like what everyone in the world needs is love. I know that's such a corny thing to say around valentines day and all but its true. I am honestly trying to learn to love like God. That should be every ones goal. If we could all love like him it would lead to forgiveness. I struggle with forgiveness more than anything. Forgiving backstabbing, things taken to far, forgetting my birthday, even the simplest of things can hurt me more than you could imagine. Then I just can't forget it. When I love I love so solidly, investing every emotion I know to invest and then when I get hurt its like getting hit by a bus. I like to think that everyone I love is perfect but when I get those painful reminders its hard to get back up. From now on I am going to read The parable of the unmerciful servant in the book of Matthew. Its about Peter asking Jesus how many times must he forgive his brother when he sins against him? How about seven times and Jesus said "I tell you not seven times, but seventy seven times" at the end of a story of Karma it states if you don't forgive your brother from your heart, your heavenly father will not forgive you.