Luke 10:2

needle in a haystack life. You are one person, there are 6,815,902,078 people in the world right now, 309,101,868 people in the U.S. In America about 77% of our population claim to be christians, thats about 238,008,438 . Can you please explain to me why there is so much hurting and loneliness and violence when there are only 71,093,430 people who do not claim to know Jesus and believe in God as their creator. There is 77 % of us, why aren't we making the difference that we should. I mean God deserves it. He created this amazing world that still amazes me, he made people, he made animals, he made plants, he made clothes, he made shoes, he made EVERYTHING.

"The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore send out the workers into his harvest field."

There is plenty of good to be done, yet not many workers. I don't understand why so many christians see violence as a part of God's plan. God has a plan, he wants you to love everyone, he wants you to spread his word in a loving way, (not bully people into believing in him) and he wants you to fulfill his purpose in your life, rather it be to lift someone else up to do things greater than themselves as someone's life or actually act as a modern time Moses your self. All these things seem to be summed up in one sentence.

Be Jesus to someone.

From what I can see Jesus did not cut people off in traffic, he did not hate someone because of their sexuality, and he most certainly was not a snob.

He loved. He taught. He led. THE END.

No where in his time here did he make someone feel as an outcast, he simply made the outcast feel welcome, needed and loved.

1 corinthians 7:32-34

"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs, how can he please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world- how can he please his wife. and his interest are divided." . I am beginning to see that God truly has wanted to use me all along but I have been divided in relationships and distractions. i think I am starting to understand a little better, He wants me to be single so he is my main focus because when there is someone else God doesn't receive the attention he deserves and the person I am with doesn't deserve me yet because he has not given God his full attention either so that he can become the man God wants him to be. I think this verse was directed towards the youth. God created woman for man because God didn't want him to be lonely, but when your you you haven't been alone (much less alive) long enough to be lonely. Another point I have come to realize is that if you truly love someone and want it to work then you want to give them your best, If you have not focused on God and truly built a relationship with a solid foundation you are not at your best and should not be with anyone. I have learned this first hand because now that it has gotten closer to the part of my life where I will go on to hopefully do something bigger than my self, at first it looked like art school and now it is looking like Africa no guy that has been in my life has been supportive of those aspirations. How could they be expected to be? They are not ready for that and thats why they shouldn't be in my life yet. No regrets just excited that God is showing me this now and at this point in my life before I give someone my heart and end up hurt.

James 1:27

OK.... haha lots of changes again! seems like as soon as I begin to catch up more things pile up. NOT COMPLAINING just blessed:) SO I am newly single and its a really really good thing. I do not need any distractions right now and we are still friends. I am currently feeling the urge to travel out of the country. I don't know exactly what, where, when But I am looking into the Peace Corp in 2012 and a Tom's shoe drop. Tom's shoes are the greatest things ever and if I raise 3300 dollars I can take the barefoot people of another country shoes! I think its marvelous and I would love to do it! Just praying really hard for God's will and not necessarily mine. I would love to go to City College of NY and get another degree but I feel like God wants this now, like he needs me to do this. I have always been interested in the Peace Corp. But the thing is I would have to sign a contract with them for 28 months. Thats a really really long time. Thats scary. I really feel drawn to try to go to East Africa, such as Kenya or Sudan because they are the countries with the most violence which leaves hurt, hunger and need. All just needs prayer. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME WITH ME! Its a huge deal and life change and I just need as many prayers as possible. These trips could change my entire outlook, life path, future, everything. They could be the most meaningful thing ever! "Religion that God our father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." I am possibly going to look into taking some classes on counseling this summer and maybe volunteering some with it after that and see where it goes. It could be a complete 360 from what I had planned for my life but maybe God has something different planned.

1 Thessalonians 5:9

Many new starts and ending since I last blogged. Mostly positive. New Puppy, definitely positive. New Boyfriend, haha Mostly positive;). Planning to move out in August, absolutely positive. Lots of marvelous things going on right now. Working a lot. Praying a lot. Thinking a lot. Cleaning up after Heidi a lot. I seriously don't see how parents do it. I mean for pete's sake she's a dog! But at times I feel like I am losing my sanity from repetition. I had a decent birthday. I am starting to feel like I am setting the bar too high in every relationship I'm in, romantic and friend. I just expect them to want to see me when I want to see them and I want them to love me as much as I love them. Which a lot of the time is a more than I should expect. You cannot make someone care about you. It just won't happen, no matter how bad it hurts. Also you have to keep in mind people display love in different ways. I like it verbally. I like to hear how much I mean to people. I like the little things. Remembering me when you know I have had a bad day and surprising me with my favorite something, little notes and pointless texts. My hands down biggest need and favorite is spiritually supportive. Thats something I have discovered this year and my need for it in my relationships. For me to know someone is praying for me and having discussions with God about me, means more than tiffany's, chanel any kind of tangible gift EVER COULD. I am going to try this year for God to CONSUME all relationships with spiritual support. I think it could help in more ways than anything else ever could. "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

Another thing I have started to realize and it was from the help of my book was from five words from a highly known verse. "God so loved the world". The world- everyone, every denomination, race, gender sexuality, political party, gang, school, every single person, yes even the guy who tailgated you on the daily commute to work, God so loved him too. SO If God so loved him there is obviously a reason why. Even if there isn't one that you can find, we are suppose to attempt to mirror him so you should try to love him anyways.

Psalm 19:1, Romans 2:15

wow. I am reading an amazing book right now, 3:16 by Max Lucado. In the beginning I was somewhat questioning if this was the book for me right now but WOW. God swept me off my feet like always. I found one sentence that truly describes this year so far spiritually has been about for me.

""A house implies a builder, a painting suggests a painter, don't stars suggest a star maker? Doesn't creation imply a creator?"

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. "

This book is amazing! It also is currently looking into human nature and how human nature is God's law that is encrypted in every soul rather that soul knows God or not. Like how children are born kind, and know it is wrong to hurt people.

"Since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts. their consciences also bearing witness and their thoughts now accusing now even defending them."

There is absolutely nothing as satisfying as knowing you are fulfilling God's will in your life at that very moment and thats what I am sprinting towards.