Revelation 1:18

I have been mesmerized by this amazing song, Revelation by Third Day for some while and when I looked up the lyrics I only fell in deeper. One line that really hit me "Tell me should I stay here, or do I need to move" I am not quite sure why it hit me maybe cause I am at such a crucial part in my life and I really do strive to be where he wants me. This song also drew me to the book of the bible of the same title. The verse that stuck out the most was 1:18 "I am the living one: I was dead and behold I am alive forever and ever! I hold the keys of death and Hades" That is such a cool and calming thought to me. The God who gave me life also holds the keys to Hades and death and has the last say. God is great.

I started thinking back for some reason today and I started thinking about my baby sister. She has the sweetest soul out of anyone I think I have ever met. I love her so much though she is at the most irritating age ever. I worry about her so much. She is such a follower and can be talked into just about anything. If I don't move away after I graduate from CPCC it will probably be because of my concern. I feel like my parents don't realize how much trouble is NOW in middle school. You hear of so many kids having kids and "lipstick parties" and drinking when they are 11-14ish years old!?!?!?!?!?! I mean seriously this is sick!! I don't know what I will do when this stage in her life comes. When I think she is old enough to party I will come to terms with it but NOT when she is not even driving a car!!!!! Its all too much to take on and another reason why I never want to have children.

I am finally talking myself into realizing I don't have time for a relationship and I really need to work on discovering more of who I want to be. I was listening to this song today and it said "Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good" and man did it make me feel great! Because this is true! I deserve someone who treats me as well as I treat them and I honestly don't think I have ever gotten that from a relationship. I mean I have had some great relationships but I feel like I was always the one who gave the most and i am DONE WITH IT!

Its my turn!!! Proverbs 7:10-11 are my goal now " Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold. For wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you can desire can compare with her." I have to go back to happy I was with myself and who I had become before the last couple "speed bumps" that weren't worth my time.