Isaiah 41:13

So I have this fear, Its a simple fear that many would never guess I have because I am so independent. I have a fear of being alone. Not dating wise, just in general. For some reason I use to have a fear of eating or getting coffee by myself. It might be because I have so many great friends and I am almost always surrounded by them. But I admire they "cool people" in restuarants and coffee shops chilling with the laptop or book and the ipod just chilling by themselves. They look so relaxed and at peace with themselves. I have always felt weird when even picking up things to go by myself, much less eat an entire meal by myself. Well i finally conquered that silly fear on Monday. I walked to Nothing but Noodles (my new fav) by myself and ate a meal by myself with my laptop and felt completely content. It was the funniest thing. I read this verse "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13 and this is exactly what I felt. Someone had just taken my hand and taken the burden and showed me how to be by myself. I am generally happy to be by myself. My parents think I am the weirdest teenager ever because I am happiest with my music, my shoes and quiet. I am pretty happy with the person I have become I don't really have and regrets.

Well I am considering a new tattoo. A crown.... Sarah means God's Princess and its pretty much why my parents named me it. My name all together means Princess by the grace of God. I love it. I always have thought they did a good job naming me and I thought I was going to get my crown as my first tattoo but decided to start small and didn't want to give my dad a heart attack all at once. I think I may go get what I have in mind priced tomorrow night and if I can get one of my wonderful, tolerant :) friends to go with and its less than 80 some dollars I may go ahead and get it. I mean I do get paid tomorrow haha. I remember when I first was considering getting a tattoo I put a lot of thought and prayer into it. I had heard from my mothers brother (a baptist minister) how horrible they were and how much the baptist church frowned upon them. I was scared. I had some feeling that God would forget me or stop loving me if I went through with it. Unconditional love is so hard to comprehend but I found this amazing article by Thomas Nelson and it clarified God's view in the bible of tattoos' He wrote of Leviticus 19:28 "You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor tattoo any marks on you: I am the LORD". However he also references Lev. 19:19 which was "Nor shall a garment of mixed linen and wool come upon you". So if they consider a tattoo sinful they most also toss all their cotton/poly blend clothing too. He also references to the book of romans where it speaks of Jesus paid the price for our sins so we no longer have to try to clean ourselves to be worthy of our God. This all made me feel a lot better. Then I got to thinking, I believe God meant these tattoos as things that were going to send other brother to sin such as a naked lady or satanic type tattoos. My tattoos completely point to God. Matthew 5:9 and a crown to symbolize I am a princess of the king of kings. No one can argue with that and even if they do its not my problem. I am right with God and thats all I need.

Now i am going to force myself to fall asleep before ten o'clock and wake up early enough to pick up Hannah's surprise and blog before work :)