Jeremiah 12:3

Hunger for truth. Those three words are exactly how my heart is feeling. I just feel like I want to accomplish so much greater than myself. I was literally brought to tears tonight by complete, passion for God. I was looking at the Passion tour '09 in Atlanta and it inspired me in so many ways and helped me to see more clearly what God has laid in my lap. I do so much more good than I realize. I think God has had me doing it blind sighted for a while because I generally do things by the way I feel, then I think it through. I am more than likely not going to go to the conference but I do want to get involved with something bigger than myself that I can help to flourish and grow and become closer to God. I haven't determined it yet but I know I will find it. I do not think it is church. I have such bitter feelings towards organized religion. I have been hurt repeatedly by churches, and denominational attitudes that have just come between me and God (not literally but have interupted the flow of my relationship with God) and I just can't see myself at 18 years old, on the peer of adulthood finding a church family where I will flourish and develop as a christian. I know that church's are made up of humans, AKA not PERFECT creatures but I feel more at home, welcomed, loved and less judged in pretty much anywhere but a church. I am sick of being hurt and discouraged by people who claim to have the same love and similar views as I. It hurts and thats when I am questioning God the most, when other people who claim to also be his children turn against me instead of treating me as their sister. "Yet you know me, O Lord; you see me and test my thoughts about you" I will pray further and know that my path will be lit.