Hebrews 13:8

Think about if every single person in the world, ALL of them had this mind set "What can I do to make the world a better place". Even though we are not all do-ers there are many thinkers out there, the world would still have a lot more positive thoughts and some positive actions. I think the hardest thing is getting the positive ideas out there. With a world with so many competitive, negative, judgemental vibes and attitudes out there it is hard for the positive ones to flourish when the ratio is 1:3. I am some what ill. I feel like the positive people in my life aren't the people who matter the most. The people who mean the most to me are the ones who are bringing me down. I am sick of it. I am always the good friend standing in the rain for you! whens my turn?!?! I feel un-missed and I am fed up! yet when they come back to town I will be the one who is sketch and doesn't visit, not doing anything with her life and still in this sucky ass town. I AM FED up!!! Just because I didn't dash off the first chance I got because I have dreams that ask more of me than a high school graduate doesn't mean I am not doing anything. I don't ever want to be the one who has to have her parents pay her bills or buy her kids christmas. I want to learn all of these things the right way the FIRST time. When I have needed my girls, when I hit rock bottom they were no where near me and when they were there were more important things on their agenda such as getting trashed. I am sorry buy I am happy with who I am and actually like the people I surround myself and don't feel the need to black out. There is so much more you can accomplish with your time when you aren't obsessed with boys, drama, partying, pleasing other people. I mean I stopped worrying about these things and the most perfect boyfriend ever just waltzed into my life. I have gotten so much more done at work and I like myself. For the first time in a long time I can honestly say that and mean it, I like myself. I think I am trying the best I can at everything I am doing right now and I like where I am as a person. I am living to my own standards not everyone else's and I can be by myself and I am completely ok with it. It is funny and I realize I am the one changing. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever". I love it.